I find that bedtime is when I miss June Bug the most. (What about those of you whose child as passed away?)
While scrolling through my iPhone pictures, I came across this one. This is just moments before we delivered the tiny body of June Bug to a local funeral home for cremation. After June Bug died and I miscarried his/her body, we did not know what to do with our babe. Our doctor suggested “medical waste” – which made me furious, but that’s a story for another day. I hit up google late one night to search for ideas with phrases like, “After Miscarriage” and “Miscarriage Support.” In one of the articles, cremation was suggested. I called a funeral home the next day. They were so very kind and provided their services free of charge!
This quick picture is far from perfect, yet it is perfect for that moment. Everything seemed to be spinning as Cody held my hand and lead me to the entrance. He carried June Bug’s body with the other hand. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t carry the body of my first child into a place where I knew I would have to face more emotions. To my surprise, the gentleman who helped us was just wonderful. We ended up talking with him for quite some time, as if we were old friends, after the paperwork was finished. That moment showed me that God knew the pain I would feel. He knew I needed reminded that there can be joy in our darkest hours..we just have to look for it.
For those of you missing your babes, I’m praying for you. June Bug taught me that I am brave, and I believe you are, too! Let’s be fearless and share our stories. Let’s breakdown the walls and be transparent about miscarriage and infant loss. Your child and their story matters. Share it! ❤️
Much Love,
Jamie
I am so sorry for your loss. I am so glad you have a husband to support you, but more importantly, that you know who truly carries us through difficult times. I felt sick reading your doctor’s suggestion and am glad you found some comfort from others. Many will be blessed by you sharing a story you never wanted to have.
So sorry Jamie. 🙁 I’ve had two miscarriages and it never gets easier. But I don’t think it’s supposed to. I think god chose you to handle theirs because you were already strong. He decided your child was so amazingly great he called him/her home early to be unscarred from our imperfect world. Prays for you and your husband. May God be ever present in your and all our lives.
We miscarried last year. It gets easier. But it takes a lot of time. We will be praying for you.
Love you, Beautiful!